Be Legendary Like the Beaver

Ten Legendary Deeds You’ll Never Be Worthy Of

1. Once drank so much mead the tavern named a national holiday after his hangover.
2. Built a dam so perfect, Odin offered to trade Valhalla for it. He declined.
3. Challenged a thunderstorm to a drinking contest — and the lightning apologized.
4. Headbutted a bear into early retirement. Now it runs a candle shop in the fjords.
5. Invented the keg stand... by accident... during a siege.
6. Wrestled a kraken just to get his pint back. Still cold. Still full.
7. Once chopped down a tree with his stare. The axe was just for show.
8. Declared himself king of the mountain — the mountain agreed.
9. Carved a drinking horn out of a dragon’s femur. Used it to toast the dragon.
10. Faked his own death to avoid chores. Attended his own funeral. Left with the widow.